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9.3.16

Colposcopy Afterthoughts

I have a visit with my ob/gyn today, and I was reminded that I haven't written about my colposcopy yet. It has been a couple weeks since my experience.

If anyone is reading this to mentally and emotionally prepare for a colposcopy, please hear me when I say this:

Do not take to heart the youtube colposcopy reaction videos! The reactions are from actresses (or those who want to be), and dramatic. I built up a lot of anxiety after watching these and almost chickened out of my appointment. Looking back, it really wasn't too bad--and for the relief I felt after the biopsy results, it was 100% worth it.
If possible, find a genuine female to give you their experience. And maybe they can also give you a ride home.

Now, for the actual procedures.
For the majority of the appointment, I had a metal vagina. It's a tunnel - like contraption that keeps your vagina open so your gynecologist can take a good look-see, do their thing. It's an interesting sensation to feel metal tools clink against the walls of your vagina. I imagined I had become part robot.

Once the metal chamber braced the walls of my vagina, they swiped my cervix with iodine--this is to identify which parts of the cervix they will take biopsies from. No pain here--I remember talking to my gynecologist about the dramatic youtube stars who had almost steered me away from the appointment.

Second, they took the biopsy. I had sweaty arm pits at this point. My gyn told me she was going for it, and I took a deep breath--and PSH! It felt like a very thin but strong stream of air pressure hit my cervix. I felt a large wave of relief come over me, but then they let me know they'd take 3 more. Before I really had a chance to think about it, the discomfort of the following biopsies hit me. For whatever reason, each biopsy incited stronger discomfort than the last.

I think it's important here to distinguish between discomfort and pain. The colposcopy didn't leave me writhing in tears on the ground, but socially awkward from the internal weirdness. I think the 3 advils I took before the appointment also helped. I engaged in any and all possible conversation to distract myself from the sensations, and ended up talking to my gyn about orgasmic births. Twas a new experience for sure.

After the procedure, they caked my cervix with a brown substance which I believe is a kind of healing ointment. The metal vagina was removed, and I had cramps that resembled menstrual cramps. I felt a little fragile, but once the gyn and nurse left me to change, I danced my way back to normalcy. I told myself "pain is mind over matter.. plus you're done with the dang thing!!" to put myself into perspective. My best friend picked me up, and I ate a ton of food. I was gentle to my moons.

Two days later, the clump of healing ointment fell out during a bathroom trip. And then it was done.

Wala!

If you ever have one, I am here to support you (:

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